Much Ado About Surrogacy: Unpacking the Unspoken Class and Gender Politics of Commercial Motherhood

Case in Point: Ifedayo Agoro vs The People (with echoes from Ini Edo and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

When lifestyle influencer Ifedayo Agoro, popularly known as Diary of a Naija Girl, revealed her plans to become a mother through surrogacy — despite having no fertility issues and being in good health — she likely didn’t anticipate the intensity of the response. The internet offered up its usual mix of opinions, but this time, the backlash felt especially loaded. For some, it was a celebration of choice. For others, it was an affront to deeply held beliefs about womanhood, motherhood, and “doing it the right way.”

But Ifedayo is not alone in this space. Nollywood actress Ini Edo and acclaimed writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie have both shared their own motherhood journeys involving surrogacy — and were also met with a combination of praise, criticism, and invasive curiosity. It seems each time a woman chooses a path to motherhood that deviates from the “norm,” a public referendum follows.

So why does surrogacy — especially when not medically necessary — provoke such strong reactions?

The answer likely lies at the intersection of gender, class, and culture. In many African societies, the ability to carry and birth a child is not just a biological function — it is a rite of passage, a cultural expectation, and often, a marker of societal value. Surrogacy disrupts this deeply rooted narrative. It introduces questions about privilege: Who gets to opt out of pregnancy? Who can afford to? And who carries the emotional, physical, and social costs?

Surrogacy also makes visible the divide between personal autonomy and collective expectation. For many, it’s not the act itself but the optics — a woman choosing a path that seems, to some, too easy, too detached, or too transactional.

And then there’s the missing voice: the surrogate herself.

In every celebratory or controversial surrogacy story, one woman is often left unnamed, unspoken, unseen — the woman who carries the child. Is she empowered or exploited? Is her role celebrated or reduced to a service? These questions often go unasked. The ethical complexity of commercial surrogacy, especially in lower-income contexts, cannot be ignored. It is a labour — physical, emotional, and intimate — and often one entered into for economic survival. When we romanticize or criticize the intended parents without acknowledging the surrogate's reality, we erase her altogether.

There is, truly, much ado about surrogacy — because it touches on so many unspoken tensions. It is a feminist issue, a class issue, a cultural issue — and, above all, a deeply personal one.

As surrogacy becomes more visible in African and global contexts, it may continue to unsettle society’s ideas of what motherhood “should” look like. But perhaps that discomfort is part of the conversation. Not every story has one answer — and not every woman’s journey has to look the same.

What matters most, in the end, is the space to choose, and the grace to understand.

Written by Franka Chiedu & Mercy Harold

For Blanck Digital