Stop Banking on Favors Reciprocity is a Myth;

Stop

Is it just me, or do others have the same experience? After years in the creative and media industry, I’ve learned a hard truth: reciprocity is rare. Almost mythical.

I’vepoured into people-helping to build careers, open doors, and push businesses forward. Yet when I needed a hand? Silence. Or worse, a transactional demand. I remember an experience where I worked loyally with a photographer for years - always paid full price, only contracted him for shoots. I believed then that we had a solid relationship and understanding. But, the one time I asked for a favor, to shoot for Blanck Magazine during its start-up phase, he refused outright. Not only that, he quoted me a fee higher than his usual rate. That moment stung, but it also revealed a pattern I’d ignored for too long.And I promise you, this is only one out of many experiences I've had in nearly 2 decades of working in the industry.

Growing up, my mother used to say: “One good turn deserves another.” It was her gentle way of teaching generosity. But what she never told us is that while kindness is beautiful, it isn’t always mirrored back. The modern truth? Many people treat giving as optional but receiving as a right. They’ll gladly take your time, ideas, and resources, but when it’s their turn to show up? Crickets.

Maybe in my mother’s time reciprocity meant something. But today, the only reliable rule is this: advocate for yourself. Stop banking on favors that may never come.

And that begins with a simple question: “What’s in it for me?” Especially in creative industries, too many of us give our labor for free-hoping one day it will translate into opportunity. Spoiler: it rarely does. The heartbreak isn’t just in the lack of payback; it’s in the belief that those you helped would naturally return the gesture.

If you secure what matters in the moment, whether that’s fair payment, proper credit, or genuine opportunity-you won’t feel duped later. You’ll know your effort wasn’t wasted. Because in the so-called “Freeland,” nothing is truly free.

So here’s the takeaway: before you invest your time, energy, or ideas, make sure there’s value flowing both ways. Reciprocity may be a sweet proverb, but in today’s world, it’s more myth than practice.

Does this make sense or I'm just naive? Let me hear your thoughts and experiences.